Final Project

I come home from work exhausted. After I set my keys in the bowl, I locked my eyes on the couch. It's one of those days where you need to take a nap, even though it won't fix the tiredness. I head straight for the couch, dropping my bag on the coffee table. [[I scroll on my phone before I inevitably nod off]] [[Drift off B<-I'll go right to sleep]]

It's all garbage on my feed, as usual. I feel like I have even less patience for it today. I turn off my phone and set it on the table. As I set it down, the screen turns on, then back off again. My eyes catch the date on the lock screen: August 30, 2023. Ugh, this hot, gross month is almost over. [[Drift off A<-Drift off]]

As my eyes close, I notice the color of the walls. I'm still so glad I painted over them last year. Got rid of the last remnant of //him//. [[Sleep A<-Sleep]]

I saw a tweet a few days ago that said "It isn't a great nap unless you wake up disoriented and frothing with hate." Wow, does that feel true right now. [[Wait A<-Wait.]]

I lie on the couch. I'm already about to sleep, even though the room is full of August's heat and humidity. As my eyes close, I notice the color of the walls. I'm still so glad I painted over them last year. Got rid of the last remnant of //him//. [[Sleep B<-Sleep]]

I saw a tweet a few days ago that said "It isn't a great nap unless you wake up disoriented and frothing with hate." Wow, does that feel true right now. [[Wait B<-Wait]]

[[Wrong B<-Something's wrong]]

The walls. They're the wrong color. And it's cold. [[Walk around the room]]

[[Wrong A<-Something's wrong]]

The walls. They're the wrong color. And it's cold. [[Pick up phone]] [[Walk around the room]]

I reach for my phone. I see the date again: August 30, 2023. I open the phone and am greeted with repeat notifications as it tries to reconnect: Network detected, no internet. I go into settings, it asks me to enter my password. Weird. [[Enter my password for my own network]] [[Walk around the room<-I put my phone away and walk around the room]]

[[Go towards the window]] [[Investigate the coffee table]] [[Go towards the hallway]]

The sleet outside confirms, it's definitely not August. [[Investigate the coffee table]] [[Go towards the hallway]]

As I go towards the hallway, something tells me to be quiet. I peek into the other rooms. There's someone there. [[Leave<-Get out.]]

There's trash and papers all over the table. [[Investigate the papers]] [[Go towards the window]] [[Go towards the hallway]]

I open a couple apps. They're all crapping out, not connecting, even though my internet's fine, just a little slow. I'll have to figure this out later. As I close my phone and go to put it in my pocket, it turns back on. I see the date again: November 5, 2017. Fuck. [[Walk around the room<-I need to figure out what's going on]]

There's some notes from back when I was in school. Digging a little deeper, here's the results from a blood test, confirming normal testosterone levels. God, I remember how worried he was about that. [[Go towards the hallway<-I think I should leave]]

I grab my keys, run out the door, and head down the stairs. I run out the door, and the cold hits me all at once. I won't be able to go anywhere, dressed for August. I only have one reasonable option. There's a cafe a block from here that I used to go to all the time, because they had DnD nights, and the owner was a friend. Well, he was, until he banned me for something I don't like to remember. Well, it's been a crazy few years. They probably won't even recognize me. [[Go to the cafe]]

I head into the cafe. By the time I get there, I'm so cold, I can't feel my fingers or my face. I go to the counter to order something to warm up. The owner's working at the counter. He looks up as I approach. He greets me warmly, but as a customer, not a friend. He obviously doesn't recognize me. I mean, I've changed a lot in the past six years. [[Order<-Order a coffee]] [[Order<-Order tea]] [[Order<-Order hot chocolate]]

I order, and go to pay. As I try to pay with my credit card, it gives an error: this card does not exist. I try again, with a different card. Good thing there aren't any other customers in line. I give up, and pay in cash. I remember how nice it used to be, not having to pay for coffee here, when the owner and I were still friends. Taking my drink I head to a couch. I set down and sip, wondering what I'll do next. [[(Continue)]]

The coffee shop is quiet, which is odd for this time of year. I stay, trying to get my phone to work so I can contact someone. No one comes through for a while, until a man walks through the door. He looks really familiar, do I recognize him? [[Yes]] [[No]]

I haven't seen //his// face in years. It makes me happy how hard it was for me to recognize him. [[I'm going to leave.]]

He orders a drink and comes to sit down. He seems awkward, I don't know why he's approaching me. He actually becomes friendly as we talk a little. It turns out he's also a nerd. We play a bunch of the same video games. He seems really, really similar. [[Keep talking]]

We keep talking, he only seems friendlier as we go on. He tells a joke, his humor is the exact same as mine. I tip my head back as I nod and laugh. Immediately, his tone changes. "Hey, wait. You're a man." My heart stops. I know where this is going. [[I don't know what you mean...]]

He points to his neck, where his adam's apple is. "Yeah, you're a man. We can always tell." I start moving to leave my seat, and the owner pauses what he's doing at the counter. "Where are you going?" He sneers, louder. I know what happens next. I've been here before. I wasn't...me, though. [[I think I should go...]]

The owner comes over, he can tell something's up. "Hey, miss, is this guy bothering you?" He turns to the guy, who he seems to know, and gives him a death glare. I remember what it was like to see that glare. The owner had never looked scary to me until that moment. I didn't get a chance to say anything before the guy interjected. "//He// was just about to tell me that-" The owner cut him off. "Go to the counter and pay for that coffee, then get the hell out of my shop. And don't ever come back." I want to thank the owner, but I can't look him in the eyes. I feel shaky. I haven't heard anything like that directed at me in a long time. I just relived the most embarassing moment of my life. [[I'm going to leave.]]

I almost run out to the street. I know who that man is, and I know what I need to do. [[Start the 1st Step of the Plan]]

I head back to my place. I know where I keep a gun hidden. I bought it a long time ago, when I was a different person, but I've kept it around for protection. I never moved it from it from its original hiding place. I sit at the kitchen table and wait. He comes in the door. He looks shocked when he sees me sitting there. He's even more shocked when he notices the gun held in my hand. "You're that bitch from the cafe-" [[Sit down. We need to talk.]]

He doesn't listen, he runs over to the spot where the gun is normally hidden. He finds it missing, of course. "How did you know where I live? How did you know where I keep my gun?" [[Please, sit down. I just want to know why you said what you said]]

Reluctantly, he moves to sit down. I have to trust that this will work. [[Do you hate me?]] [[What are you gonna do now?]]

"No. I don't hate you, I just don't think people should be allowed to transition. It's unnatural." [[Do you really believe that?]] [[But do you hate me?]]

"I don't know what I believe. I just... I don't feel right around transgenders." [[Why is that]] [[But do you hate me?<-Say trans people, not "transgenders." So, do you hate me?]]

"I hate everyone. I hate myself. I guess I do resent you." [[Why do you hate yourself?]] [[Why do you resent me?]]

"Look around." He gestures to the messy room around them. "My life is miserable. I come home and I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't have a future." [[Is that it?]] [[What are you gonna do now?]]

"What can I do? My friend hates me now. You're here... threatening me. My life is a mess, and.." [[You could apologize]]

"Honestly, no. I feel like I'm totally falling apart. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I don't know what to do. Even if I did know what to do, I don't know if I'd have the strength to do it." He sinks down. He looks hollow. The gun isn't in my hand, its on the table in front of me. [[I think you know what you need to do. Even if you won't admit it yet]]

"And say what!? He thinks I'm a horrible person now. He said And who's gonna say I'm not. And my life's so messed up anyways, what's one more loss." [[You kind of are. You believe in some pretty awful things]]

"I see you, and even though you're so weird and messed up, you have it better than me. You seem happy and put together." [[Are you jealous of me?]] [[]]

"I don't know. Even though they're so weird and messed up, they have their lives put together. They're happy." [[Are you jealous of me?<-Are you...jealous of them?]]

"...Yes" He sinks down. He looks hollow. The gun isn't in my hand, its on the table in front of me. [[I think you know what you need to do. Even if you won't admit it yet]]

"I don't know what I believe. I just... I don't feel right around transgenders." [[Why is that]]

He doesn't respond. I move around the table, coming towards him. I hold him in my hands. I forgot how hard it was to be him. I leave him sitting there. He isn't crying, because he can't. A few months on hormones will fix that. I walk towards the door, leaving his keys in the bowl. [[I wake up on the couch]]

It's warm again. The walls are painted the right color. I am tired, I need a coffee. There's a cafe I haven't visited in a while. While I'm there, I have an apology to make. Six years ago, I got kicked out for saying some vile shit to a trans girl who ended up helping me out a lot. [[Go to cafe]]

I walk down the block, and head into the cafe. There's a familiar looking woman working at the front counter. I wave as I walk in, and an odd recognition passes between us. I giggle in my head as I walk up to the counter. Both of us? What are the odds!

A short story about meeting your past self. A more overtly transgender game than the others I've talked about so far. tw: transphobia, misgendering [[Enter Apt.<-Begin]]